That's what the doctor and the NP said about my most recent CT scans. In other words, we've got continued clear scans two months out from combo chemo, no evidence of disease in the chest, abdomen, or pelvis. In other words, as far as we know, our crapshoot of going with a combination oral/infusion treatment for which there is no actual protocol nor much research data has worked to push cancer far enough back into my molecular being that it is undetectable by any tests, at least from the neck down. We'll find out what's happening in the brain with scans in March, but things seem to be okay up there so far (no symptoms). Of course we won't call this response to treatment a "cure" because the disease is metastatic, and there's a good possibility of recurrence, but it doesn't hurt a girl to wish that if the cancer cells decide to mutate again, it will be into something harmless.
Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude for all the prayers, good wishes, and adorable animal videos. I love science and the people who practice it (thanks docs, nurses, techs, researchers, acupuncture, massage, yoga, and Al). I love faith and the people who have it (and those who don't). I love my family and friends for walking through this minefield with me, carrying me when necessary, unasked, because that's just what they do and how they are made.
In the meantime, I'm back on a full dose of lorlatinib (oral chemo), which means: neuropathy in my hands, sludge in my brain, and uncontrolled weight gain (again). So if I seem a little aphasic in conversation as I try to find words, if I'm horribly forgetful and tell you the same story again and again, or don't show for an appointment, and if I seem to be suddenly QUITE LARGE since the last you saw me, it's the lorlatinib folks. Hey, it's that or letting the cancer run rampant. I'll take a little forgetful roly-poly any day over that.
With further grace, a continued period of stability will allow me to do a few things I've been looking forward to: 1) spending time with my far-flung peeps, 2) leaving the country a few times in the coming election year to get a break from the current White House administration's corrupt abuse of people like me and those I love 3) advocating for others with lung cancer 4) writing about the interesting folks I get to meet along the way.
We. Are. Good.
And profoundly grateful.
